Sunday A. M.
Ever dear brother.
I have now before me three unanswered letters from you having
dates, "Vinal Haven March 10th" "Scarborough May 2thnd" and Farmington
June 26th 1838. From one so prone to complain of the neglect of correspondents as
I am, such delinquency as this comes with a bad grace, and I would offer an
apology for an excuse, but then I hate excuses, and so will substitute an expl-
anation. I have not been inattentive to your letters nor have I lacked a feeling of
deep interest in them, but I have so weighed them. And have so felt the importance
of the subject which has generally and mainly employed your pen that I have des-
ired to return appropriate answers. And hence have delayed from day to day and
from week to week for time to do justice to your favors untill so much matter
has accumulated upon which I should be pleased to communicate my reflections
that I fear my pen recoils as I now attempt to direct it. I have been so
kindly disposed towards you as to pass the "firm resolve" to answer your every letter, and
to give you line for line and thought for thought nay morey—I have laid other
plans for your entertainment and perhaps amusement. I have designed giving you such
details of "the way the world has gone with me" since I parted with you at Richland,
that you would be enabled to see before you as "large as life" your little brother,
and comprehend the object of his existence but I have deferred the matter untill
I should have "a more convenient season" and so time which waiteth for no
man has imperceptibly glided away while I have not discharged ^even^ the immediate
duties of brother to brother much less have I accomplished thou high designs
which I had conceived for your gratification as the unaffected offerings
of friend to friend. And this is but the history of my whole concern
fromFrom my earliest life I have been continually laying plans for future
("greatness", shall I say?) nay whatever may have been my frailties and foibles
I have not had ^added^ the folly of aspiring to greatness., my plans have been
of future goodness and usefulness. In early life I became enamoured of the
charms of virtue, and the aspirations of my heart were after goodness and truth
my ambition led me to aspirey—high indeed—but after humility and meekness
and it was in the lowliness of my mind that at a very tender age I well remem-
ber feeling the kindlings of a virtuous pride in anticipations of future goodness
and usefulness. But ah! how sadly have my well formed but ill timed plans
been frustrated The accursed spirit of procrastination has been the canker
worm of my degradation, What has been to me the duty of to day has been
made the business of to morrow. And to morrow has not come!!
I am aware that it is common place confession to speak of one's misimproved time,
And to acknowledge the sin and folly of procrastination is but a modest way
of intimating that we are not righteous over much but brother it is the history
of scenes of no common folly and neglect that I here divulge and if you could
perceive as I feel the sickly barrenness of my mind and the polluted sinfulness
of my heart and could be persuaded as I am that it is all the result of
putting off untill to morrow the business of to day you would indeed [groan]
at my calamity. It is a fact that in relation to the acquisition of knowledge
from books and from observation, to the cultivation of my mind by the
proper exercise of my intellect, to the encouragement of virtuous disposition
in my heart and the inclination to become good and win, as well
as in relation to the management of pecuniary matters and all things
appertaining to my life and the various relations I have procrastinated
every thing but my folly.
In your letter of March 10th you very kindly utter the wish that you could "commune with
some "Heavenly Messenger" and give vent before him to your feelings concerning tho to
whom you are bound by the ties or consanguinity" That you are often present in the spirit with
thou with whom you are bound by the ties of nature I have no doubt and it is a source of much
satisfaction to me to believe that I enjoy a liberal share of your regard that I do not deserve
much of your consideration is a reflection ungrateful indeed to me but nevertheless quite true
unless my appreciation of your worth and a tender regard for you as a brother and friend
entitles me to a corresponding degree of your regard. I have felt a good deal of
interest in the accounts you give of your travels in the ministry more particularly per-
haps because it is a matter which concerns your welfare though I per am unwilling
to admit that I do not feel a good deal of interest also in the progress the work in
which you are so successfully engaged. I have followed you to the far west to the
field of contest and there my apprehensions were excited for you as well as account of
your exposure to the evil designs of the world as to the contagious malady which
prevailed to so alarming and degree. My excitement was of a feverish character.
I feared that the hand of the violent man would fall upon you—that the abuses of
the vulgar and the coarse minded would be heaped upon your head as upon the head
of an outlaw and a ruffian, and that no voice would be heard in your defense
declaring that you were innocent of any evil designs upon the peace of comm-
unity. Then the work came as on the wings of the wind that a deadly contagion
had visited your camp and that scores had already fallen before you and
could I rest and be at peace while my brother stood exposed to the shafts
of death! But another word came which told of the breaking up of
your bandy—of its disperson to East and to the South to the North and to
the West and you were placed before me a wanderer over the fair
of the Earth in the capacity of a preacher of doctrines which were a by-
word and a proverb among men. I already fancied I saw you exposed
to the ridicule and the scoffs of bigots, hypocrites unbelievers wicked men and
devils and was pained at indignities and insults which I imagined were
being heaped upon you and I had not even the consolation of knowing that you were
engaged in the cause of God (for then indeed I could have endured to
see you suffer persecution, under the full persuasion that you would be
blessed and honored by the King of Saints) though I did not doubt that
you believed you were doing right and that you bore along with ^you^ a clear
conscience and an honest heart. Many long months passed away and I heard
not a word respecting you – what might have befallen you I was in doubts andbut
I felt a fearful apprehension that you something ill had befallen you. An
angry insurrection had been plotted and was discovered just upon the eve
of its breaking out—the people of the South were inflamed and their
vengeance was visited upon many innocent and unsuspecting persons, there
was no liberty of speech there and a person had only to be suspected of
entertaining sentiments appored to some of the institutions of the South
to be visited with all the horrors of a hellish anarchy. Under these circum-
stances my emmotions were such as I cannot well ^express^—my fears were of the
gloomist character for I knew your enthusiasm and your determination
to maintain your priviledges rights as an American citisen—perhaps in your
sentiments you were appored to the institution of slavery and in the fear
of God you would be constrained to raise your voice against it, a course
which would have brought upon you swift destruction from the presence of
men—and my forebodings were bitter indeed. If I had any hope for
your safety it was in the kind care of providence—I had no confidence
in the protection which would be afforded you in the plea that you
were a free citizen of this republic during that dark "reign of terror". But
I was permitted once more to hail your return to your friends, and to rejoice in the triumph
you had thus gained over the enemy and had the happiness once more to peruse the
lines dictated by your brotherly kindness. I saw you engage in preparing yourself
for the more efficient discharge of your duties as a minister of grace and among
your fellows I imagined you giving and receiving counsel in relation to matters app-
ertaining to the interests of "the Church" I saw you taking upon yourself the flowery
yoke of matrimony and, (believe me) I rejoiced in the consideration that in subm-
itting your neck to the yoke you had found a true yoke-fellow in whom you
might not only find an assistant bearer of your burdens and sharer of your sorrows and
joys but also an agreeable companion who should sweeten the sorrows of your life,
and heighten the enjoyments of your happier hours by her cheerful smile and devoted
love. I saw you bending your way to the far East to enter a new field, even to speak
the word to the "Islands of the Sea". I followed you in your journeyings and saw you
commence your labors upon the Islands—rejoice in your sucess—prayed for
your comfort and safety—lamented the bigotry and intolerance you encountered,
and left ashamed with you that men, nay—that those who present themselves
to the world as ambassadors from the Court of Heaven,
should so far depart
from the principles of spirit of enlightened, liberal, & republican principles
(to say nothing of the principles of the religion they profess) as did thou
preachers and Elders who so ungenerously opposed you. Fools that they are!
to believe in a God and to worship him in the forms of his religion and at the
same time to have so little confidence in His cause as to fear and quake lest
a handful of "Mormons" should upturn there it root and branch! I followed
you on your return to the main land and accompanied you again to the land of your
birth, was with you in spirit aroundat a fathers house and did not envy
you the paternal affection and maternal tenderness which you there enjoyed
and in the fulness of a brothers heart I did not forget to yield to you
the entire devotion of a sisters heart. It was indeed a priviledge which you
enjoyed to spend so pleasant a season at home and I should have been happy
[therin] happy to have made one in the family circle on that occasion. But how
soon I shall enjoy that pleasure with you or whether such happiness is in
reserve for me at all is a subject I do not like to reflect upon. But I have
not forgotten that previous to your last visit at home you went to New York
that you then met with your bre[thren] from Europe and heard from them of
the progress of the "work" in a foreign land. I went up the North River
with you and across the hills and dales to Connecticut. Conjured up all the
familiar faces in Avon, Lovely street cider brooks &c &c and brought
them up to hear the mormon preacher, and [have] several times gone down
with you to the solumn waters of baptism. All them and many other
picturesscenes have I frequently imagined myself a witness of—and this hasty
and imperfect outline so imperfectly drawn (in my haste) has afforded
the subject of many a picture which I have dwelt upon with much
interest drawing so largely upon my imagination it would be expected
that many of the scenes which I should represent to myself would be mere
fancy sketches and I presume that in following your amid the diver-
sified scenes of the last few years of your life I have often followed you at
a great distance and sometimes perhaps have mistook^aken^ your way. That I
have not fully ^properly^ appreciated the spirit by which your steps have been directed
I think is more than probable for indeed I am incompetent to judge with regard
to the character of the cause in which you have been engaged I have ^having^ never
been able to avail myself of such information as would enable me to form
adequate ideas of the origin—character and tendency of Mormonism.
Brother, I have repeated to you that I feel interested in the question of Mormonism
I again repeat that I am deeply so. There then no other reason than that I have a
brother who is identified with the leaders of the Society this would be sufficient ground
for any interest which I may feel. But when to there is added the consideration that my
father—my mother and my only sister as well as many other friends are under
its influence and are liable to become members of the society it becomes doubly
my interest and duty to enquire if the doctrine be true. If Mormonism
is the work of God and the peculiarities of Mormonism are founded in
Eternal Truth I desire to know it. If it is true then my highest interest
and the highest interest and the highest interest of my friends is involved
in our embracing it with all its terms. If it is untrue or if in other terms
Mormonism—proper and peculiar is not founded inupon direct revelation
from Heaven God forbid that one of us should be under its influence
another day. That the prominent doctrines of Mormonism are in general
correct and are even more reasonable than perhaps ^those of^ any other sects I am
ready enough to believe but then their doctrines may all be true founded
upon correct principles and yet Joseph Smith Jr may be as arrant
[as known] and as great an impostor as ever lived. if this is the case
we can renounce Mormonism and at the same time retain every
correct principle and doctrine which it embodies. But I must [close]
I will only now add that I am bound to believe Joseph Smith Jr and all
the leaders of your society honest men untill it is disproved. Yet I
have no proof of the truth of their pretensions except the admission
you have made and they are not satisfactory to me not being as
explicit as I could wish. I shall probably trouble you with some questions regarding
this subject before long and shall hold you responsible for the result of the same
by virtue of the interest which we mutually have in an only sister who is inclined
to become a member of the Church of the Latter Days Saints. Hold yourself
ready and peradventure you may make a believer of me and to God shall be
all the glory.
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Please permit me to pay my compliments to Mrs Woodruff and
excuse my impoliteness in doing so in so obscene
a corner as this. Affectionately Yrs
Asahel Woodruff
Wilford Woodruff
Excuse the abrupt termination of this letter as well
as any harsh epithets you may find in it –
Not a word is written in unkindness or under
the influence of any feeling approaching to harshness.
Asahel
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[upside-down text]
Asahel H Woodruff interesting
letter just before his Death
July 22, 1838
The above letter was answered by
Willford Woodruff Aug 25 1838
[stamp]
TERRE-HAUTE
JUL 23
Ia.
Single 25
Mr Wilford Woodruff
Scarborough
Maine
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